Poems, Thoughts

we need time

we need time to recuperate
not only from a physical wound or illness
but from the mental stress
we have to put ourselves
through at work or school
and not everyone recuperates
at an equal pace
so when you told me five days
should have been enough to relax
you forgot to understand
what i was going through
when you told me a month’s rest
should prepare me for the world
you forgot to observe my silence
during my recuperating period
when you told me i’ve slacked too much
you forgot to ask me what i really wanted
i needed time for myself in ways i can only
decide but your advice would have been
welcomed if only
you understood.

Parveen Maghera

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Poems, Thoughts

#parveenproblems

Flipping the pages
and deciphering unfathomable handwriting
and then asking my mother
what I wrote
and that follows with the usual
“You always ask me what you write,
you can’t even read your own handwriting”.
But then she mysteriously reads it
and it all makes sense.
Mothers know best.

I am writing this post as part of my procrastination from my studying. #parveenproblems.

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Thoughts

Thank You!

I know for some, having your phone next to you is the biggest distraction during your study break (when you are mugging for your finals), but for me, it no longer serves as a “distraction”. It is, to be very honest, my only link to the sane world where people are wrecking their brains the same way I am!

Yes, you could ask, “Why aren’t you studying together with your friends then?”

Well, let’s put it this way: I live two hours away from school, we all like our private space of study and we might just end up talking about something else instead of studying. Trust me, your friends could be your biggest distraction… me included. 😛

So once we’re in our private space, we get all the freedom to do what we want. You name it — stretch your body like a cat, put your feet up on your study table like a boss, have the entire table to yourself which end up looking like a jungle of papers of notes scribbled with doctor’s handwriting. Yes. My handwriting. 😦

But wait… studying together means sharing of knowledge right?

I agree. What are technologies for?

My group chats on WhatsApp will flood many times! We constantly engage in thorough discussions of our concepts and analysis. We take pictures of our notes and share with one another. We’re selfless, aren’t we? Oh, and sometimes Skype or Facebook works too!

Yes. We live and thrive in the virtual generation. It gives us the ease in doing things, just like how we are able to study on our own, yet be with our friends at the same time... virtually.

The technology around us works like a social structure. We are so reliant on it that if it is gone, it would seem as though a calamity had struck us. It’s just like how chaos could ensue when we have no social structure in our society! I learnt this in class.

Alright. Enough of the sociological imagination.

My key point:

What I would like to share is that what keeps me sane is not really the ability to converse and discuss with my friends. It is, in fact, our conversations of goodwill! We are not only discussing or brainstorming. We also check on one another. We make sure we are still “alive”. We perk one another up. It creates a sense of care and concern — you know that your friends know that we are not alone in this. This is beginning to sound like a really serious situation but I hope you get my point.

It makes me happy. I feel loved! And I hope I made you feel loved too!

I would like to say THANK YOU to all of you! I can’t even imagine my state of mind without such a concerned circle of friends.

And not forgetting what complimented our late night conversations:

chocolates

sweets

crackers

tea (lots of it…  I need to ‘nail’ my masala tea some day!)

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Poems

all over again

as the needles move

they kick, punch, stomp, scream

clambering to keep in line

with the dozens around

a routine on stage

with payers to watch

they perform to get paid

no it is not a choice

but a chore with a purpose

to breathe

to eat

to feed

to enjoy that purpose

and when the leather is empty again

they realise how fast the needles moved

look back and think

why is it a routine

who are the payers

what are they paid

they think, kick, punch, stomp, scream

drag themselves to the line

to be part of the routine they question

a performance for whom they seek answers

and paid for accepting the stage

the leather is filled again

their purpose becomes priority

forget the questions they ask themselves

and smile

and drink

and serve

and it is empty

again

 

– Parveen Maghera

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