Poems, Thoughts

An..xiety

What is going to happen, the inner voice asks, and another jumps in almost immediately and uncaringly with the message of doom. The chest feels heavy, and the throat is clogged. And when incessant biting of the lip follows, you know that only you can tell yourself that all will be fine, because only you know what anxiety feels like, when it comes to you.

– Parveen Maghera

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Poems, Thoughts

Faith

how does it feel like to have renewed faith
a kind that reminds us that it is only us who is in charge of our own lives
whatever fate may be we decide and let be
now I take this oath to remind myself
that I am my existence
that this humanity is my strength and You my hope
and I remind the little one down the street
that I see the star in her eye
because she did too

– Parveen Maghera

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Poems

Content

The same lone star twinkles in the black carpet of sky

Like a diamond that she can’t feel

But only its glint she can admire

Oh what diamond she speaks of

When she can only look intently

At the child licking the strawberry ice-cream she can’t have because

A dollar is too expensive

For the father who spends a hundred on the horses

She looks back at the star that twinkles again

She smiles

At least

Content that

At least

The star is nobody’s property

Only available for the eyes

At least

Some equality

– Parveen Maghera

 

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Poems

Snapshot Of A Time

Three red candles holders
Poked into a cake so delectable
Juicy cherries atop each swirl of cream
Too sweet for all, tasteless for one
Tongue coated in medicated bile
Even chocolate is disgusting
Vomit
In the plastic bag
They sing that birthday song once
And feed
Ten times
Lipstick-stained cheeks
And a pink nose
Eyes watering at the blinking lights
Christmas is here
Welcome the dizzy spell
Lavender tickle the nostrils
Hand sanitisers perfumed the room
Ward nurse prepares the milk
Singing Jingle Bells
In Punjabi
Then in English
Sing, they say
Hand in hand like best friends
Admiring the towering glittered tree
Wrapped boxes look like stools
Garbled voices fade away but
Talk, they say
Little steps forward
Each breath feels heavy
The wall is too white
Collapses in the mind
The ground shakes
No one understands
Walk, they say
But the limbs tire
And retreat to the red carpet
Then the body
Then the head
It’s bed time
Finally.

– Parveen Maghera

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Poems, Stories, Thoughts

Pastiche of Fabrics

I had always thought this world was beautiful… wait, it has always been… but what kind of beautiful world it is when people act like they understand us when they actually don’t? What happens when this form of false understanding becomes the basis of our relationships with people, even the closest ones like our families? When we say, “I completely understand”, do we… really? Our experiences are personal and can only be understood by us. The articulation of our own experiences are just mere representations. The use of the language binds us to an arbitrary system of squiggles, strokes, marks and random sounds to explain our feelings of pain, happiness, sadness, anger, confusion, jealousy and anxiety. How can just a word like “anxiety” encapsulate the understanding of how anxious I am feeling? Even if you experienced anxiety, how can you understand my anxiety when I experience it completely different from yours? The reality we live in are like a pastiche of fabrics made up of these misunderstandings that we believe to be true. But no one complains, because they were never destructive to begin with. What is the reality of humans then? We humans yearn for companionship, love and connection. We are social beings. No matter how much we want to be left alone, our minds seek for conversations, like how we speak to ourselves when deciding on what to eat for dinner. Loneliness is hurting. You listening to my rant even when I know you don’t identify with my experiences is liberating. And I think this is what makes life beautiful because we humans try our best in our struggles, love, hate, differences, frustration and stress to sew humanity together. Our unity is never innate. We are stitched together by the threads of humanity that loop our lives into the social fabric that we react to everyday.

This effort is beautiful.

Humanity is beautiful.

– Parveen Maghera

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