Poems, Thoughts

An..xiety

What is going to happen, the inner voice asks, and another jumps in almost immediately and uncaringly with the message of doom. The chest feels heavy, and the throat is clogged. And when incessant biting of the lip follows, you know that only you can tell yourself that all will be fine, because only you know what anxiety feels like, when it comes to you.

– Parveen Maghera

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Poems, Thoughts

Faith

how does it feel like to have renewed faith
a kind that reminds us that it is only us who is in charge of our own lives
whatever fate may be we decide and let be
now I take this oath to remind myself
that I am my existence
that this humanity is my strength and You my hope
and I remind the little one down the street
that I see the star in her eye
because she did too

– Parveen Maghera

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Poems, Thoughts

Pressing On

I’m only waiting for the moment when life gets better, back to its normalcy, but normalcy has left us long ago, buried in the past. Then, all I need is strength to bring this life out of its dark shadows, to make it work with all the irreversible changes. And I’m persisting because I choose to believe in You.

– Parveen Maghera 

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Poems, Stories, Thoughts

Pastiche of Fabrics

I had always thought this world was beautiful… wait, it has always been… but what kind of beautiful world it is when people act like they understand us when they actually don’t? What happens when this form of false understanding becomes the basis of our relationships with people, even the closest ones like our families? When we say, “I completely understand”, do we… really? Our experiences are personal and can only be understood by us. The articulation of our own experiences are just mere representations. The use of the language binds us to an arbitrary system of squiggles, strokes, marks and random sounds to explain our feelings of pain, happiness, sadness, anger, confusion, jealousy and anxiety. How can just a word like “anxiety” encapsulate the understanding of how anxious I am feeling? Even if you experienced anxiety, how can you understand my anxiety when I experience it completely different from yours? The reality we live in are like a pastiche of fabrics made up of these misunderstandings that we believe to be true. But no one complains, because they were never destructive to begin with. What is the reality of humans then? We humans yearn for companionship, love and connection. We are social beings. No matter how much we want to be left alone, our minds seek for conversations, like how we speak to ourselves when deciding on what to eat for dinner. Loneliness is hurting. You listening to my rant even when I know you don’t identify with my experiences is liberating. And I think this is what makes life beautiful because we humans try our best in our struggles, love, hate, differences, frustration and stress to sew humanity together. Our unity is never innate. We are stitched together by the threads of humanity that loop our lives into the social fabric that we react to everyday.

This effort is beautiful.

Humanity is beautiful.

– Parveen Maghera

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Poems, Thoughts

#parveenproblems

Flipping the pages
and deciphering unfathomable handwriting
and then asking my mother
what I wrote
and that follows with the usual
“You always ask me what you write,
you can’t even read your own handwriting”.
But then she mysteriously reads it
and it all makes sense.
Mothers know best.

I am writing this post as part of my procrastination from my studying. #parveenproblems.

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