Who Am I

That’s the lady I want you to be
Momma whispers into my ears
I take a step back and turn away
That’s never going to happen
I say
But momma insists
She never fails to push
Papa doesn’t care
The sister tries harder
I leave for school and I see her again
I can’t smile
A girl calls my name
Another mocks it out loud
Look at her colour, they say
But I look at theirs
I tear and run away
Momma whips out my favourite tea
She says it’s only going to get better this time
If I became that lady
But that’s not going to work
I repeat myself
And that state of mind
Brings about a repeated wave of torture each day
But today I stand firm
And look at them in the eye
I’m beautiful too, I yell
I’ll be that lady
I promise in front of them
They stand there confused
I leave with a smile
Momma is surprised
I hug her tight
I’ll be that lady you said momma
She wipes away a tear
And pulls me in front of the dressing mirror
Yes momma
I’ll be that lady
I say
Pointing at my reflection
My newfound confidence made me grin again
When I adjusted my hair for the first time
In front of the reflective glass door I pass by each day
The girls come by
I give a confident glare
They look down and walk away
I breathe with pride

Who am I
People ask me now
I tell them
I’m just being the girl in the mirror
Why don’t you?

– Parveen Maghera